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1-K 

"The Little Star." 



CAST. 



Ferdinand Scheuster A cripple. 

Mansfield Muggs A stage veteran. 

Henry Dalton A young playwright. 

Robert Dalton His Father, a "banker, 

Banquo Beamish 'Manager of Polly Theatre. 

Florence Livingston • The leading lady of Folly Theatre. 

Hilda Scheuster' s daughter. 

"The Little 5*36^*7$ . 

Robert Dalton and Beamish double. 



SYNOPSIS. 
ii ii ii ii ii ii ti ii 



Act It" Home of the Scheusters. 

Act 2nd:- Green room of the Folly Theatrl? EClAl ' ' **„« osaoopy of 

Act 3rd:- The same. \&Z^g&X& 



a6t * w>tt ™. «™ — -orfuwer the « 

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n^nr^rsnn week or Mueo i 

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3-K 

Act Sir st. 

At rise Hilda, is discovered at type-writer c ) (Henry Dalton 
is seated at table down L. smoking a pipe looking over loose 
sheets of manuscript. 

Hilda 
(Types a few seconds after curtain rises, pulls sheet out) 
And there is the final curtain to your latest Drama "Hope 
Deferred. " 

Henry 
It's finished, Hilda? 

Hilda 
(Coming down with sheet) Yes, the great play that all America 
is waiting for is ready nov/ to be submitted to the great 
managers. 

Henry 
Let's hope it will have a luckier fate than its predecessor. 

Hilda 
I hope so, Mr. Dalton, but I like "Her Heart's Desire" 
better than this one, although this one has the punch too. 

Henry 
My dear Hilda, if all the managers and' critics were of your 
opinion, my fortune would soon be made. 

Hilda 
I love "Her Hearts' Desire." I know every line of it. (sighs) 
If some day I should fulfill Papa's prophecy aAd^become a 
leading actress, and your play lies on the shelf*M|& T long, 
I shall play it, and make it succeed too. €fo> */>/ 

Henry «*/J 'Q, 

I wish that day would come quickly for both our sake*s^ M^da. 
That would be a double joy, to write stuff worth while £jarfd/£ 
have you interpret it. I would like to go through life li§s§>^ '# 
that, Dearest I (Goes to put arm around her waist she eludes^ 
him, placing her finger on his lips as he approaches her) 

Hilda 
No, no, forbidden, remember. (Picks up leaves of manuscript) 
Let me fasten "Hope Deferred" together. (Places sheet she 
carries on bottom of others, carries manuscript back to 
typewriting desk, proceeds to fasten it together) (Knock on 
door- Henry goes to door L opens it) 

Mansfield Muggs. 
(Outside door) Ho madam, I object to being called "Daddy" 
I am not your Daddy, and - (Enters L door, surveys Henry from 
head to foot) (aside) Ah,, the Viper! HumphJ He got here before 
me J (Note Mansfield is a sort of "gloomy Gus" individual of the 
palmy day type, but should not be burlesqued) 

Hilda. 
Come in, Mr. Muggs, come in, we're glad to see you. 

muggs 
Ah I "If I profane with, my unworthiest hand" Humpg. Did you hear 
me sit on that fat person who addressed me in the hall just 
now? 

Hilda • 
Yes, who was it? 

Muggs 
The leading lady of the Stewed Chicken Burlesquers. They 
landed here in the house this morning, the majority of them 
called me the "Old Legit" One accosted me as King Lear- a 
few led by that fat person whom I'm sure was in the original 
Black Crook called me "Daddy" 

Hilda 
It is only their fun, I wouldn't mind them. 



4-lfc 

Muggs 
I can't help minding the "fleers and scoffs of the common 
her." "It is the rash humor that .my mother gave me" I am 
getting more and more like Macready every day* 

Henry 
Macready, He was the great English Hamlet was he not? 

Muggs 
Yes, and I am the great American Joe Morgan. 

Henry 
But he is dead. 

. Muggs 
There the resemblance ceases. I am still alive, Ahem I 
(coughs) What is that junk? (Points to Mss) 

Hilda 
Junk? Why Mr. Muggs, this is a play, a new play "by Mr. 
Dal ton. 

Muggs 
And therefore "Junk" All modern drama is junk* 

Hilda 
(firing up) This is nothing of the kind. This is beautiful, 
this is-- 

Muggs 
Marry - what call you the thing? 

Hilda 
It is called "Hope Deferred" 

Muggs 
"Hope deferred" (Groans) an awful title. It will be a frost, 
The proverb has it" Hope deferred maketh the Heart sick" 
The rude and ribald ruffians who write the critical review 
will seize their opportunity to roast. I can see the head 
lines now "Hope Deferred maketh the public sick" Where did 
you cop the thing? (to Henry) 

Henry Cq 

"Cop"? I don't understand. A. Jk/> 

Muggs ^/ 7 Ca^ 

From what did you steal it, from what other play, or from 



what magazine? * &yji 7 &/^ 

Henry "3^ A3 

I don't steal, sir. This work is original. 

Muggs- 

(Groans again) Worse and worse. The last spark of hope is 

gone. Nothing succeeds nowadays that is original. Put 

"Hokum in thy play- 
Henry 

Hokum? 

Muggs 

"Sure fire" stuff. Gags that have been offered to the bonehead 

public, since the days of Noah" "Tho they make the judicious 

grieve" they will make the unthinking laugh" 

Henry 

But I don't want them to laugh. 

Muggs 

Then they will laugh, that's the irOny of fate. They laughed 

at my deathoscene in Uncle Tom, the brutes I However I have 

no desire to discuss the drama further with any amateur 

interloper. (Patronizingly waving Henry aside) You wouldn't 

understand. (Crosses over* L) 

Henry 

I'm afraid not. (aside to Hilda) Does he drink? 

Muggs 

(turns suddenly) Fh, what's that? A r e you talking about me. 

Henry 

I inquired if you drank. 



5~K 

Muggs 
Did you ask n ¥ill I drink" or "do I drink"? Were you actuated 
by a convivial feeling to tender me your hospitality, or 
were your words merely prompted "by vulgar cariosity? 

Henry 
Well - I — (Hesitating) 

Muggs 
It is evidently curiosity about my personal habits. I am not a 
habitual booze fighter Sir, I'm a- periodical - I am sober at 
times. 

Henry 
(Produces money, hands bill to Hilda) This is for the last 
typing Hilda. 

Hilda 
Don't be in a hurry, I - I can wait. 

Henry 
Nonsense, why wait? May I call later? 

Hilda 
Surely. (Gives him, her hand, he takes it) 

Henry 
(Picks up manuscript) Good after noon Mr. - Mr. — 

Muggs 
Muggs, Sir, Mr. Mansfield Muggs, (strikes attitude) 

Henry 
Mr. Mansfield Muggs, 

Hilda 
I thought you gentlemen had met, living here in the same 
house. 

Muggs 
We have passed each other in the corridor and on the stairs, 
By the way, Sir- what is your - your damned name. 

Henry 
My name is Dal ton, 

Muggs 
Dalton, eh, I have played several heavy villains by the name 
of Dalton. There is a particular brutal crook called James 
Dalton, I hope he is no connection? &», */?/ 

Henry 
I really can't say. (Exit l) 

Muggs ^ /&. 

and endeavor to insinuate your wriggling loathsome shape. 
You will find me, Muggs, like Michael the Archangel with his 
flaming sword, on guard, waving you hence, and crying with 
trumpet like voice, Ayaunt, Serpent, Avaunto I forbid you 
entering my Paradise. Aheml I venture to say Hilda, this 
embryotic dramatist of yours never wrote a speech like that. 

Hilda 
Ho , I hope not , 

Muggs 
All, Hilda, Excellent wench, Perdition catch my soul but I do 
love thee, and when I love thee not, Chaos is come again, 
Hilda are you angry with your Muggsy? 

Hilda 
No, I'm not angry, but very sorry, that you should forget 
your natural courtesy, and your kind heart, and behave as 
you have to the gentleman who has just left us, 

Muggs 
HetsI regard him as my rival, my hated rival. 



Viper J Viper, When you return again to this Peaceful Eden, 



6-K 

Hilda 
I fear lie regards you as a lunatic. You know he's not used to 
our ways or to us ^people of the theatre. He don*t understand 
the shop talk, of our little world at all, and when he sees 
you, a man as old as my father — 

Muggs 
Eh- 

Hilda 
(Firmly) As old as my father, exhibit symptons of jealousy, 
what must he think of you? 

Muggs 
How can I help "being jealous? As Bill Shakespeare says — 

Hilda 
2Bill"' Shakespeare. "William" Y/ould he more reverential 
Muggsy. 

Muggs 
The immortal "Bill" says * 
"I had rather he a toad 
And live upon the vapor of a dungeon 
Than keep a corner in the thing I love, 
For other's uses!" Ahem- this scribbler has not the 
"Bohemian" air of most of the lodgers in the rooming house . 

Hilda 
I think he has known better days. 

Muggs 
So have the rest of us, else we would not be here. Judging 
from the careless way he handed you that ten dollars-. He is 
probably stopping here on a bet, perhaps he wishes to breathe 
the true artistic atmosphere. By the my, my slumbers were 
seriously disturbed last night* The Loop the Loop sisters 
next to me, had a mixed ale party and the owner of the 
sea-cow accused Svengali the hypnotist of practicing on 
his pet. 

Hilda 
Why did you leave the theatre so early to-day. 

' Muggs ^ St/q 

Rehearsal was dismissed. The leading lady Miss Livingston 
had a quarrel with Percy Dusenbury who is to do Romeo, 
and Percy went into a violent fit of hysterics. 

Hilda ^» 

A man have hysterics? 

Muggs 
Well you know he is of the Claude Eclair type, a bundle of 
nerves. *"" 

' Hilda 
Will they postpone Romeo and Juliet now. 

Muggs 
I don't know. I applied to Manager Beamish immediately for 
the job. I told him I had playe-d Romeo ftrty years ago. I 
guaranteed that Miss Livingston couldn't give me hysterics,, 
and told him I was all nerve. 

Hilda 
Yes, and he — 

Muggs 
He answered, he knew I was "all nerve" and he liked my nerve, 
but if I didn't have hysterics, the audience probably would. 
The underlings and parasites around him laughed, as they 
always do at the manager's jokes.. 

Hilda 
Miss Livingston must have an awful temper. 

Muggs 
Whe has, she is the devil and Tom Walker, by the way that 
reminds me, Miss Livingston and I were talking of you. 

Hilda 
(Surprised) Of me? 



7-K 

Muggs 
Yes j she's a very shrewd woman is Miss Livingston, not like 
most of those society idiots that go into the business with 
evowed intentions of elevating the drama. She is high and 
mighty with the manager, the leading actors and so on, "but 
commonly speaking, she is the greatest ""bull conn" with news- 
paper slush writers, and stage hands, that I have ever tu£a>led- 
up against in my variegated career, Do you know that she and 
your father have had several extended conversations i 

Hilda 
Indeed, he never told me. 

Muggs 
They have, and seeing your father Herr Scheuster and I were 
great friends. She asked me many questions, I enlightened my 
lady as far as I could, about his history, and wide experience, 
She pumped him dry about effective stage business and in 
Romeo and Juliet and has adopted all his suggestions, and in 
defiance of the stage director. That's what startled the 
row today, at rehearsal, 

Hilda 
Oh, I am sorry. It may end badly for Father^ He may be accused 
of upsetting discipline, and he is usually so reticent. 
Crippled as he is, there are not many positions'; he can fill 
now. My own earnings with the typewriter are small and our 
very existence is a precarious one. If I returned to the 
stage it would have to he with some small obscure traveling 
company, and then Father and I would "be separated. (Scheuster 
sings outside- some German Folk song as the Obzugmarsh or the 
Soldiers' Farewell is humming it as he enters^ he is neatly 
but poorly dressed, in dark clothes he has gray hair rather 
long pale face and walks with a decided limp, he hums song as 
he enters) 

Scheuster 
(With German accent) Ah Hilda, you haf company, that is well. 
It is a joy Herr Muggs in mein house to find you. Hilda 
daughter mine, haf you made Herr Muggs welcome. 

; Hilda 
Yes , father. ^ #^c» 

Scheuster 
I haf great news for you both, ( §1 ows excitement)" 
you think. (Laughs) Ah, you cannot, guess what great 
has happened to me, what mighty thing has happened. 

Hilda 
What, Father- what- 

Scheuster 
I haf been discharged, I haf lost my chob. I haf as you Americans 
say, I have been grand bounced, haf had a can tied to me, ' 
kicked from the Folly Theatre out, Ah'. (Laughs) Ha, ha, ha a 
I, Scheuster who played mit Sonnehthal, Janish, Barnay have 
been fired from my position as property assistant "by a man who 
cannot tell Shiller's Robbers from Jesse James, Is it not a 
"choke" - Hah? Why don't you laugh, like I do. 

Muggs 
How did it happen, Ferdinand. 

Scheuster 
Were you not at the battle today, between Fraulein Livingston 
and Herr Lusenbury, It was in der parting scene of Romeo and 
Juliet, Let me see. How does it begin. Help my memory, Hilda 
child mine, help my memory,. 

Hilda 
"Wilt thou begone? It is not yet near day"- It was the night- 
ingale and not the lark" 

Scheuster ■ 
(Interrupting) Yah! Yah I Dot is it. Stop right there. 




8-K - • 

Die Fraulein she got so far as Der Nightingale, when I appeared. 
Dere was no candlelabra on the scene, left off by mistake. 
The scene is not gomplete mitout it. It "being a night scene. 
Foots oudtj two "borders' oudt, Calcium upper L mit blue 
mediums changing to red. So at der Nightingale I come on mit 
candlelabra, und dot Dusenbury says. How dare you. Get from 
the stage off mit -you, Raus mit you, you limpy legged Dutchmann. 

Hilda 
Oh Pather- 

Scheuster 
Yah, what you think of doct, he called your father a limpy 
legged Dutchman. Dot badt , badt actor. But I was avengedt , 
Fraulein Livingsten, she avengdt me. 

Muggs 
Ah, How J Howl 

Scheuster 
She sat on him good and hard. 

Muggs s N 

Great 1 Great I Juliet sits on Romeo, good and hard, good \ 

business.. Yes. 

Schejister 
She toldt him he was a puppy, who was gonspiring against her 
success and he told her she was an incompetent cat who had 
broken into the business mit a jimmy, so then she grabbed one 
of der candles from der candlelabra und stabbed him in the 
eye mit it. It was awful. 

Muggs ' 
Good business, lover's quarrel. Juliet jabs Romeo in eye with 
a candle, That ought to go in Muscatine* I would like to have 
seen it, but I was at the stage door taking a smoke* 

Scheuster 
The stage hands und der actors took sides in the battle. 
It was terrible. Such a desecration of the actor's art, 

Muggs • 
You were not hurt in the fracas. 

Scheuster 
Hurt in the what? «i/ ^6/ 

Muggs 
The Pracas- 

Scheuster 
I don't know what you mean by "mine fracas" but I fell down and w 
was walked over und now I am fired out of a cannon, discharged 
you call it. 

Hilda 
(Embraces him) My poor patheri 

Scheuster 
Mein liebes Kinde, The good God must provide for us, until 
I get another "chob" It is strange this worldt* How bad 
luck pursues us,- First your Angel Mother died, Und then I met 
with my accident. And could not follow the actor's profession 
any more. They write many plays, many "lame" und "freak" 
plays, Und many crippled mis shapen parts, but damned few 
parts for crippled actors. Oh well?, if dot swindler had not 
got away with all my savings of years'. Dot robber whom the 
American Law cannot touch, Dot Dalton. 

Muggs 
Dalton, why that is the aame name as the young man who was 
here who writes plays, 

Scheuster 
He is a fine young fellow. This Oder is an oldt man, almost 
as oldt as you, but - better preserved. 

Muggs 
Ahem J (coughs. 



9-K 

Hilda. 
I'll get you something to eat, father. I'm ai re you must "be 
hungry . 

Scheuster 
I haf - no appetite, (shakes his head) Besides, we haf "but little 
money. I think I shall stop eating now. 

Hilda 
VJhat? 

Scheuster 
Eating so much. Professor B'yers says we oldt men eat altogether 
too much we dig our graves mit our teeth, und when we haf 
no teethour graves are dug und dot is all of us. No matter. 
Here is all I got of this weeks wages, and tomorrow rent 
due. (Hands money) 

Hilda 
V/e have "been worse off, Pather, see. (Shows "bill Henry Dalton 
gave her) 

Scheuster 
Ten dollars! Where did you get it? 

Hilda 
Por typing Mr. Dalton' s new play. 

Scheuster 
(Shakes his head) Ah, it is not so good as his first, I am 
sure. Her Hearts' Desire is a great work, und the managers 
all refuse it. He sent it to our manager Bamtjuo Beamish 
last, I suppose he will refuse it too. Idiot. Hilda J 

Hilda 
Yes Father. 

Scheuster 
I don't think that Mr. Dalton has much money. Perhaps that 
ten dollars is the last money ha-shas, eh? 

Hilda 
Perhaps it is, Pather. 

Scheuster 
You should have refused it* You should have saiVd in your 
prettiest manner, "It is a pleasure to copy yQ/ur admirable 
work, please to accept this', this manusacript , as a compliment 
from - my father and myself. Mr. Dalton a money compensation 
would offend me. 

Hilda • fy^* 

But it didn't offend me, pat her. 

Scheuster 
My child, you must uphold the dignity of your race. Remember the 
Scheuster '-s are of gentle blood, as the wench say, Noblesse 
Oblige. 

Hilda 
Yes Pather. I'll go and fry you some sausage, (exit R.) 

Scheuster 
Ah Muggs my friend, the great tragedy of my life is always 
before Hilda, my daughter, my pride, My only hope in living. 
She the last of the Scheuster has to accept money for laboring 
with her hands on a typewriting machine, 

Muggs 
You are too sensitive, scheuster, we in America regard "labor 
with the hands" as most honorahle . (strikes attitude,) 

Scheuster 
Then Muggs you are not honorable, "because I am sure you never 
did a days work in the last fifty years. Bah, what is the use I 
Hilda, my Hilda is a born artist and trained to be a grand 
actress. I trained her, as we are trained at home, Und she 
has had to descend to "arts base- Hschanical*'-- 

Muggt, 
But not menial, yet — 



10-K 

Scheuster 
(In rage) Muggs, How dare you hint at such, infamy,, Another 
word, and you from my acquaintance, I will drop. 

Muggs 
Don't get excited. I won't mention it as you take it that 
way, although I was going to say — 

Scheuster 
What were you going to say? (threateningly) Say it I Say it I 
Say it I 

Muggs 
Well, I don't v/ant to offend you-- 

Scheuster 
Go on, go onl I insist, I insist that you offend me. 

Muggs 
Miss Livingston needs a new dresser, same one to help her 
on and off with her clothes and costumes, er - just in the 
theatre, and I proposed — ■ 

Scheuster 
What did you propose, what? 

Muggs 
Well, seeing that you were willing to work as assistant 
props, I thought that you wouldn't object to — 

Scheuster 
To what? 

Muggs' 
To help the lady out, and I proposed you — 

Scheuster 
You proposed me, to help her on and off with - Muggs haf you 
gone crazy? 

Muggs . ' 

Ho but I will if you glare at me that way. 

Scheuster 
Me, as a lady's maid, das is gut. 

Muggs Sp, 

No, I proposed you should consult Hilda, and see if she 
would take the position- it pays well. ****i/ ^Os 

Scheuster Qfc ^?* 

(with forcedncalmness - rising) stand right where youSaye* j 
(Calls) Hilda'. Hilda! '■•:.-• 

■ Hilda 
(re-enters R) Yes Father. 

Scheuster 
Hilda] Fetch me the sabre I wore at Sedan. My sword, I cut 
the French man's ear off mit ('Smiles at Muggs) Go on laugh.' 
laugh, or she may suspect my purpose, laugh. (Pokes Muggs.) 
Laugh.' (Hilda exits r) 

Muggs 
(Forced laugh) Ha! Ha! Ha! What the devil have I got to laugh 
about? 

■ Scheuster 

To show you have courage, I am going to avenge your insult 
to the Scheusters mit my sword, not here, it will muss the 
carpet, but in the hallway. 

Muggs 
What, (retreating, shouts) Awake. Awake . Ring the alarm 
bell! Murder and Treason.. (Picks up chair, holding scheuster 
off, Hilda enters with sword the hilt of which is tied up 
with red-white- and black ribbons, the German colors) 
Murder! 

Hilda. 
What is the matter? 

Muggs' 
Your father is turning butcher. 



11-K 

Scheuster 
He has insulted the Scheuster blood, give me my sabre! 

Hilda ' 
No, no, my father calm yourself. 

" scheuster 
He shall not of you, make a 1 * menial, my child. 

Hilda 
A menial? I don't understand. Explain, Mr. Muggs. 

Muggs 
Miss Livingston needs a dresser, and I recommended you. 

Scheuster 
You hear. And in his infamy, he glories. Give me the 
sword. 

Hilda 
Ouiet, my father, (to Muggs) And would Miss Livingston 
accept me for the position. 

Muggs 
She would have, but now that insanity has developed in 
your family, I have my doubts. However I gave Miss Livingston 
your address, we are but a few steps from the Theatre, She 
may call herself — 

Scheuster 
Und you told her that we lived here? 

Muggs 
Yes, here. I also told her this building was called the 
"mad-house" by the neighbors. So go as far as you like with 
your ravings, They may not astonish her. (Knock on door L U) 
(Hilda goes up, opens door) 

Florence Livingston 
(Enters L U) I am looking for Mr. Scheusters' apartments. 
(She is fashionably attired) 

Hilda 
Come in J 

Scheuster 
(Bows with' dignity) Erau Livingston, it is with pleasure, 
to my home. I welcome you. Meine Liebe Hilda, a chair if 
you blease, for the lady. (Hilda places a chair for Florence 
but she does not take it) 

• Florence 
(to Muggs) Hello Muggsyl Why you don't look well. 

Muggs 
"I am sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought*" 

Florence 
You really ought to take something for your liver. (Looks 
at Hilda) I suppose this is your daughter, the little girl 
I've heard of. (Nods approvingly) Very good, my child do 
you speak as good English as your father? 

Muggs 
(l,aughs ) Ha I Ha I Ha I 

Florence 
(Turns) Y/hat is the matter with you, Muggs* 

Muggs 
Ahem, nothing 1 Nothing J I - was just thinking of Dusenbury's 
"Romeo." 

Scheuster 
In reply to your question Frau Livingston, Die Fraulein 
Hilda's English is yust as gut as mine, if not petter. Her 
mother although she was American was of a cultivated excellent 
family, 

Florence 
I am sure Mr. Scheuster could have chosen his wife from 
no other, (Scheuster bows to compliment.) 



12-K 

Muggs 
(Aside) Now she's spreading the salve. "Bull" should he 
feminine instead of masculine. 

Florence 
I would esteem it as a favor, Fr. Scheuster if you would 
consent to have your daughter assist me. I would pay her 
liherally. Her tasks would be light, her hours short and her 
refinement vrould help to maintain the artistic atmosphere 
I always like around me. 

Muggs 
Yes, atmosphere is important. That last dresser you had 
lived on gin. Hilda, I assured Miss Livingston that you 
didn't drinks yes. You see Miss Livingston my friend, 
Scheuster. 

Scheuster 
Freidn no long. (Viciously) Boneheadl 

Hilda 
Father I (Checking him) 

Muggs 
He thinks the position of dresser is a humiliating one. Hilda 
here has acted with much success on the Alfalfa circuit, and 
I assured him he was wrong. "Why Banqus Beamish our manager 
was a dresser for Rooney the tragedian and look at where he 
is to-day. 

Florence 
It will he an advantage for your daughter and yourself to 
"both he in the same theatre, Mr. Scheuster. 

Scheuster 
But we can't he, I was discharged by Mr. Beamish himself. 

Florence 
He will take you back. I'll attend to that, he gave 
Dusenbury his walking papers. 

Muggs- -,- . 

Then who - who will play Romeo. *fy ^Qv 

Florence 
Banquo Beamish himself. 

Muggs -^St& 

He? Sacrilege 1 Malediction's and Curses'. Oh hut he will he 
awful direful in the part. 

Hilda 
Miss Livingston will you pardon us, if Father and I consult 
for a minute. 

Flo rence 
(Smiles assent) 

S G heuster 
But - ( Pr ot e s ti ng% 

Hilda 
Come Father, come'. (They exeuent R) 

Muggs 
Banquo Beamish as Romeo. "On Horror's head, Horrors accumulate I 
Banquo should he called Bunco in this profanation.' (Knock 
on door) 

Muggs 
Come in J 

Henry 
(Re-enters L U) (Looks around) Miss Hilda is not in. 

Muggs 
(aside) &h- the "Viper" (to Henry) The Lady is engaged 
at present. 

Henry 
Will you kindly tell her, I left these oranges and nuts 
for her. (goes to dresser R) 



13-K 

Muggs 
(Aside) Humphl The first serpent- tempted Eve with an apple, 
This viper usies oranges and nuts. 

Henry 
If you'll he so king, (going L) 

5*1 o renc e 
(As Henry turns hack) By all thats- Why if this place wasn't 
called the mad- house, I'd say you were Henry Dalton. 

Henry 
Mrs Livingston. 

Fl o renc e 
What are you doing here among the Bohemians? 

Henry 
I live here. 

Florence 
You? Impossible. Does your father know this. 

Henry ■ 
I don't think he knows or cares. My existence is of but 
little concern to him. His own pursuits are paramount 
with him. 

31 o renc e 
Pursuits. You named them well. "Pursuits" He's always chasing 
up some woman, the dear delicious old love pirate. He can't 
help it.' If he wasn't so immorally wealthy, our sex would 
ruin him. He'll get into a tangle' some day and be shot like 
Stanford White. Don't frown Henry. Think I might have been 
your step-mother, only I jilted your father, and narried 
Livingston. Of course you read how I got rid of him- 
Livingston by the Reno route. But what are you doing here? 

Muggs 
He is writing plays, bad plays, damned bad plays. 

Henry 
(In temper) What do you know about it. 

Muggs 
You have not the Shakspearean forehead. 

Florence 
Shut up Muggs. Don't mind him Henry. He has a disease called 
" Hamfatitis" It's common in the business. Those affected 
with it play with a hammer constantly. They knock plays that 
they have' never witnessed, they criticize actors they 
never saw. Tell me Henry ,did you write "Her Hearts Desire." 

Henry 
What do you know about that play? 

Florence 
There's a manuscript of that name in Baanquo Beamish ' s office, 
and by a Henry Dalton.- I never identified him as you, My 
boy, it's great- great. 

Mugg3 
(Groans) Ahi More taffy I That woman would flatter an ourang-a- 
tang. 

Flor enc e 
Why didn't you make yourself known? If Beamish knew you were ' 
the son of your father, he would produce the play immediately. 
Your father is quite popular with' some managers. He is a 
familiar figure at our stage door. 

Muggs 
Aged sinneri (Hilda re-enters) 

Hilda 
Miss Livingston I have gained my father's permission and I 
vail report at the Folly to-night. 

Florence 
Very well, we will fix on terms then, Muggsy. 

Muggs 
(With dignity) Madam I 



Hilda 
Henry 



14-K 

Florence 
Guide me down these gloomy stairs, won't you? I'm painfully 
afraid of the dark. 

Muggs 
So am I } out- to serve you. Ah. "The labor we delight in 
physics pain." Come- Hilda, I go, but I'll return, and I'll 
bring you some oranges and nuts. 

Florence ■ 
Good bye everybody. Good bye Henry. 

Henry 
Good afternoon Mrs. LivingstonI (Muggs and Florence 
exuent L U E) 

Hilda 
(Is looking in surprise at Henry) why, she called you, 
"Henry"? 

Henry 
Yes I have met her before. She at one time came within an 
ace of marrying my father, two months after my mother's death, 
but luckily for all she jilted him. what brought her here 
Hilda? 

To engage a dresser 

A dresser. 

Hilda 
Yes, she offered me the position, and I have accepted it. 

Henry 
Y/hat - you - you are going to wait on that woman. 

Hilda 
She seems very kind, and Father has lost his place, I cannot 
see him want . 

Henry 
(Passionately) Hilda 4 . Hilda! Why not let me take up the 
burthen of all three, It will not be a task, but a jay. The 
kindness of your eyes so full of charity. The sunshine on 
your hair, the brightest sunshine in the world to me, the 
whole woman. You- you will make me do great things with your 
- helpful sympathy, and alone, I - can do nothing. 

Hilda 
You tell me this every day, and you believe it, and I - 
believe you, but Henry at present my duty lies there with 
that poor old crippled man, my father, You know he is proud, 
very proud, why he even resents my help. He is therecrushed 
now because I have taken this position with Miss Livingston, 
I love you, Henry, I do love you, I could live on a crust with 
you and esteem it, the supremest happiness, bu& I can't 
forsake the duty God trusts to me , I can't forsake my father. 

Scheuster 
(Outside, calls) Hilda'. Hilda 1 Child mine, 

Hilda 
Yes, Father. He calls me, Don't go Henry I will return. 
(She exits. Henry turns up to window, looks out. Enter 
Sobert Dalton and Muggs L U E is fashionably dressed, type 
of old beau) 

So you're an actor, eh? . 

Muggs 
Yes sir, that is my profession, I am an actor. 

Dal so n 
Profession, Poohl 

Muggs 
Sir, what are you? 

Dalton 
I am a banker. 



Dalton 



15-K 

Muggs 
A "banker, Pooh! Pooh.' 

Dalton 
The idea of calling acting a profession. 

Muggs 
Well, wedo, Banking, we call a trade. 

Dalton 
I could have lived my life without ever entering a theatre. 

Muggs 
I have lived all my life without ever entering a "bank. 
But we digress. There is the individual you wished to see. 
You will excuse me. I have forgotten the "oranges and nuts" 
(exit L U E) 

Dalton 
(to Henry) Well, sir, so I see you at last, and in damned 
disreputable surroundings. I met that cat ,' Florence Livingston 
at the door, and she told me you were here. Are you doing 
yourself any good, are you doing me any good, "by your 
behavior? 

Henry 
I am making' an honest living, and I am not trespassing on 
your bounty. 

• Dalton 
Your action is a scandal. You are putting me in a false 
light, the clubs have it as choice tutle tattle that r have 
cast you out, and you are living by questionable means. 
I am perfectly willing to allow you an income to which 
your birth, and my position entitle you. 

Henry 
I want nothing from you sir, I repeat I am self sustaining. 

Dalton 
You are your mother's son all right. 

Henry 
I hope so . 

Dalton 
Other families have skeletons but they are content to hide 
them in their closets - ours must be exhibited to the 
wo rid . • 

Henry 
I am not responsible for the skeleton. It is of your own 
construction. Your brutality towards my mother the last 
years of .her life, the insults you heaped upon us both. Your 
indecent behavior after her death, are still deeply graver 
in my memory, but I have never published them to the 
world. 

Dalton 
(Looks around) And this is your home? This poverty 
stricken garret. 

Henry 
HO, this is the home- of my friends. My room is in another 
part of the building. I am visiting here, and you are 
intruding. 

Dalton 
I see evidences of femininity. (Laughs) (Meaningly and 
sneeringly) Let me look at the woman in the case. Trot 
her out, I may help you to set her up in a more pretentious 
establishment. (Hilda and Scheuster appear in door) 

Henry 
Take care, sir. Two years ago, you outraged my mother. 
Today you would insult my wife, and in spite of the blood 
ties between us, Father or no father, you shan't do that 
by G-od you shan't. 

Dalton. 
You threaten, eh. 



16-K 

Scheuster 
No, no, no, H e must not do that, He must- r erne 7.:' . . the 
commandment of the Good God above us alio "Hon'- thy father 
and mother that thy days may "be long in the la: _ that the Lord 
thy God giveth thee," He must not curse you, even were you a 
viler creature than you are. But I - I am under no restriction 
and I can tell you a few things, and I can call you a few 
names, und Gott verdamm mich, I will. 

Hilda 
(Muggs re-enters hearing letter) Father! 

Scheuster' 
Be quiet Hilda and look at dot man. He knows me und I know 
him. He iss Robert Dalton a king of finance, who got rich 
"by leading poor devils like your simple Butch Eader to invest 
their all in his swindling schemes. He coins into gold the 
tears of widows und orphans. He iss a robber, a sv<rind3e r 
und a thief, whose clever lawyers' keep oudt of jail* He iss 
not fit to he among honest people. So I put my hack on his 
face, und cry, raus mit you. From my house, I throw you 
out, (Balton pauses, Muggs picks up, Balton's hat from tahle 
hands it to him. 

Muggs 
Here is your hat, and there is the door, (Balton exits 
IUE) 

Muggs 
Here is a letter for you, (hands letter to Henry) The call 
hoy just "brought it from the Folly Theatre, I was about going 
after some oranges and nuts, (Henry takes letter mechanically) 

Muggs 
I will go again, (exit L U E) 

Henry 
(Reads) "Her Hearts Besire accepted. Early production, 
Call immediately for advance royalties and contracts." 
Hilda', Mr. Scheuster, do you hear, How fortune has smiled 
upon me. My play is accepted. 

Scheuster ^e> 4? 

"We are glad of your good fortune. So that Robert Balton 
iss your father, eh? 

Henry 
Yes. 

Scheuster 
I am sorry, very sorry, I wish you had been the son of 
somebody else. "We Scheusters are a very proud race, and a 
very particular family, (sighs) I'm very sorry that Hilda und 
I can't know you any more. You aTre I think a very good 
young man, und I shall hate to lose your acquaintance, but- 
( sighs) It is fate. I rely on your honor, sir, not to try to 
see Hilda without my permission, I won't say "Raus mit you" 
I only say "Gott pless you, und Goot by," Hilda make your 
farewells to Herr Henry. I - I (chokes up with emotion) 
Gott I am miserable, most miserable. (Last line spoken as 
an aside as he reaches the door) (exit R 2 E) (Henry takes 
Hilda in arms) 

Henry 
But it's not to be farewell, Hilda. I will be patient. I 
will wait. (Hilda who is weeping, buries her face ©n his 
breast ) 

Muggs 
(Enters with paper-bag) I have brought the oranges and - 
(Sees the picture of Hilda in Henry's arms) Malediction, 
The Viper has outclassed me, (Sinks in chair) 

CURTAIN. 
•1 ti 11 11 11 n n 



Act Second, 
The green room of the Polly Theatre, 




E X 1 L-A NATION 



.ill Arch suppossa to opem *>n .stage back by wings with'- unpaint ed 

Sides showing, ( 2) D ,or with sign "Star room," {3} Sofa. 

(4) Door with sign "Star Room," (5) ^ocr with sign "Star-. ' ' 

Room," (6.) Door with sign "Star .room ;! 

A cheval glass up R, above door, Chairs Scattered around. 

" -—ib, "Keep quiet," "Mind your own business, " "No Smoking*" 



---booOOOOOOOooo 



fc'* 



1-E 

At Rise:-- -p an qup, Beamish outsids. . : 

Beamish 
item amber the same set stands for the last act, so make your 
changes as quickly as possible and lets get on - let's get oni 
(Enters C, excitedly followed "by Muggs, Scheust?r, ^enry, all 
aft3r him tr> Iking* Florence sleeps on last, followed "by Hilda 
who carries hand glass, powder "box and wraps over arm. -p-ilda 
wears apron, as dresser, 

[Florence 
(3-auses at door down L marked "Star" room* ) 

Muggs 
I want to tell you, ~ r r a beamish, I have been forty two years on 
the stage and never yet has anyone presumed to tell me my "bus- •. 
iness. 

Beamish 
Well, it's pretty near time someone did, T f you play that 
scene the way you rehearsed it, they'll guy you off the stage* 

[Florence 
frr BQainishJ 

Scheuster 

What did that call hoy mean "by me having two protestants in the 
right first entrance e (Flourishing paper), I haf them not on 
my plot* (Exits .C) 

Henry ,.'■'• 

Will you listen to me amoment, ^rr B Eeamish? 

Beamish 
Sure, 

: ^enry ■ 
That last scene is played too fast, the tempo is — 

- Muggs 
(Interrupts) You will please to accept my two weeks notice, 

Beamieh '-"-'.,. ■■. . 

Hake it shorter. if you like c j donrt want any fossils around 
me* '..'_. 

Muggs 
.Allow ae to tell you, Beamish, you are not such a rotten good 
actor yourself, 

H e nry ^ ' - 

The scene is altogether too fast B Miss Livingst on. run 3 her speech- 
es together as if — 

Fl or enc e , 

What is that ah out Miss Livingston? 

Beamish 
Now Florence -- •' . 

• . Florence 

I)on»t "Florence" me, T s this embryo author to "back cup me to the 
managar? Sir, your play is awful, positively the worst I ever 
had the misfortune to appear in*, 

Henry 
Miss Livingston J ' 

■ - Florence .'■■.• 

Shut upl Don't dare to address me J (Exits, L. door marked "Star." 
Slams door in -p-ehryjs face) 

Beamish 
you've done it I y 0u1v9 done it I She's likely to .kick over the 
traces now and not appear to-night at all. The season of yeur 



2-E 

r FlOrehCS 

(Sticks head out of door) Hilda! Where are you? 

Hilda 
Hero, T/risSo 

Florence 
■ is this the way you ars attending to your duties? . What am I 
paying you for? Change my shoes at once. (Hilda exits L.- door 
marked Star.) . * 

M'ugge 
Mr. peamish, kindly request y^ur leading lady not to be so realis- 
tic in our struggle to-night, j object to being slammed in my 
front bridge-work by her, even if she is an exile from the four 
hundr ed , 

Beamish 
Talk to her yourself. 

Muggs 
I will not bandy words with the up- start. 

Sheuster 
(Enters C«, hurriedly) .Mr, peamish, such a misfortune] such a 
misfortune!. * . ' 

Beamish 
$hat is it noY/? 

Sheuster 
Der trap! Der trap is "busted." 

Beamish 
What- -is busted? 

Sheuster 
Der tr a p - down which jmggs throws the first old woman in the 
, last act, ■ - -■'* 

B eami sh 
Oh yes. Cq 

'' Sheuster ^ ffyfo 

I found the ropes parted in four places. 

Beamish 
What I Who has had access under the stage? 

Sheuster 
Who saidt any hing about "axes?"' Der rope wasn't ''chopped" mit 
"axes* - it just had rotted away. 

Beamish 
Oh, well, fake it to-day and have it fixed for to-night. 

Henry 
(Irritated) Mr. Eeamish, may I claim your attention about my 
Play? 

Beamish 
Sure, but we had better get away from the mob,, Come into my 
dressing room or we'll be interrupted every ten seconds, (Exits 
door £,, marked star Hennryabout to follow, i s grabbed by Muggs) 

■ . Muggs 

Mr. ^alton! 

Henry 
Yes! 

ITuggS 
Am I unsatisfactory to you? 

Henry 
No. 

Muggs 
You heard what I said *'r to peamish? 



3-E 

ii 
enry 

Yes 

iraggs 
What do you generally think of my creation? 

Henry 
I canit think, That is, i can , t find wor&s to egress my 
thoughts, (Breaks away, exits door R) 

Muggs 
(To Scheuster) ZT^rdinand, do you hear? j/ry rehearsal struck 
jfr Dal ton dumb with amazement a Ah 6 ? jt ismt the first time I 
paralyzed an author. The play itself is a good play, if it was 
only properly cast s 

Scheuster 
Yah, I alwaysknew it was gut & 

Muggs 
j ought -to have said something to that young man to encourage 
him < I will e .■ He seems blue e (Knocks on door R) 

Beamish 
(Inside) What is it? 

Muggs 
Wan;t i?S> # Dal ton for a moment , most important a 

fjenry • 
(Opens door) What, you again? What is it now? 

Muggs 
Your play is Yery good, y ery good indeed^ with a little fixing 
up, I can foresee a glorious triumph for it„ T t will lie popular 
and be played ev"erywhere a Tabloid versions will be made by every 
producing manager who owns a Eiickensdorf er typewriter „ The cast 
of sixteen is too large though,, I can. see my f%?'|rend Qoliah Moore 
cutting It to four and two, with the lead out of y thkfSirst three 
acts, so he can stand on the door„ 

Henry V. ^ , , 

Your friend Goliah must be a Philistine^ (Exits shut ting" 'do&r) 

Muggs 
Ho, he worked for Armour & Co „ Tje broke into the business,, 
Scheuster, I tremble to-night though luriss j^ivingston is pulling 
the lid off Hades t , She'll make this "thing a failure if-, she can, 

Scheuster 
Why - wHy should she do that? 

. Muggs 
She knows that she is unfitted to the part and Dalton has refused 
to' fall for her blandishment s "Hell hath no fury like a woman 
scorned? " She made a decided break at him and he tipped her the 
frozen mitt and the marble heart, j - I ought not to tell you 3 
but she is making Hilda miserable with her jealousy,, 

Scheuster 
What! 

Muggs 
H e r jealousy. She has fathomed the secret that these two young 
people love each other,, 

Scheuster 
jt is not so. Tr y daughter, she does not love him c I told her 
not to love hinu i told hsr to tear him out of her heart and she 
obeyed me* Muggs, you are an idiot B . 

TfUggS 

I can see a storm coming up, I can hear the dogs of war howling. 
The crack of doom is impending, so, beware, Scheuster, -beware! 



4-E 

Everybody in this production is miscast - Livingston, s part 
shuuid be played "by a young girl - like -p-ilda, I don't like to 
say anything about myself - but I could just eat up the part 
Beamish is going on for c 

Scheuster 
Muggs ? you should be in a padded cell^ 

Muggs 
Do you relize if this play fails the Polly Theatre will go to 
smash? Daltonis father, that old scoundrel has organized a 
conspiracy to make the play fail too., on account of the quarrel 
with his son and perhaps he is the one who has worked upon Liv- 
ingston to abuse Hilda* 

Scheuster 
Abuse Hilda? That must stop mid right away - quick! (About 
to knock on door L) 

Voice 
(•Outside C) Scheusterl Oh! Scheuster? ^Jhere the devil are 
you? Are you going to let me place this junk all by myself? 

Scheuster 
(lauses) ]\reinl ^einl I am coming - I am coming* (Exits C) 

Muggs 
(Goes over to door L., listens) Hu,phJ Miss Livi n gst on still 
scoldings (Goes over too door R,, listens) Aha£ Banquo peamishj 
Still boozing<l jf he keepsit up ? he will be soused to-night, 
AhJ (Goes to up C) "Now mis chief | Thou art afoot, 
Take thou what course thou wilW" 

Still ? I can't help worrying about that salary for the week 
after next I wonder if ' I get it (Exits C) 

Florence 
(Enters from door L Hilda follows) j don't want you arguing 
with me j. I tell you I wouldn't put the rag on my back Q 

Hilda 
But surely, Miss Livingston, the bad- fit jf the gown ism an error 
of your modiste and no fault of mine, 

Florence 
T t is your business to find out about these things in tjjje. 
That r s what j pay you for and not to have. you slouching around 
making eyes at that puppy Henry "Dalton all the time- 

Hilda 
You are unjust Miss giving st on to accuse me of neglectingmy dut- 
ies and I wont t allow ^bu to insult jjr Dalton in my hearing* 

Florence 
^h.at is this? 

Hilda 
A declaration of the truth, Madam, and an assertion of -my dignity 
as a woman o I want you to bear in mind that even your dresser ha: 
some rights you are bound to respects 

Florence 
Indeed, you were glad enough to get the position Q 

Hilda 
X wa 7 So I didntt know it entailed humiliation and insult, I per-, 
formed its duties religiously and felt I ws aarning an honorable 
livelihood and assisting my poor father to carry the burden of 
our mutual support and your treatment of me kind at first has 
gradually degenerated into the torture accorded by a mushroom 
tyrant to a helpless slave 

Florence 
Take care, or I'll dismiss you 



V 



5-E 

fjilda 
■j- have already dismissed myself, madam_ T am as good as your-- 
self-in most things; your superior g i despised you while 
serving you c Your allusion to Mr . Halt on has earned for you - 
my pitying aontempt/ 

Florence 
You poor little fool i suppose you will go to f-renry Dalton 
with your story, 3-erhapsyou have hopes of marrying him, The 
son Of the most notorious roue in Hew Y°rk - this disinherited 
aristocrat whose future as a dramatist, I can make or mar to- 
night t (jruggs re-enters) 

Hilda 
God who gave him his talents will dispose of his future. The 
efforts of an imperfectly trained actress who has already se&n ter 
her vogue can count "but for little, 

Florence 
So my meek little kitten has claws, eh, and can scratch? 

■p-ilda 
If you mean me as a kittten, j have possibly learned to scratch 
from the older cat I have "been so closely associated with, since 
I entered your employ, 

Florence 
you Dutch detfil! Down on your knees and "beg for pardon for 
every word you have said, or I'll strangle you (Grabs TT ilda "by 
throat, forcing her to knees, shaking her) 

Muggs 
(Who h?.s stoii&d up at "back, listening, shouts) Here! Stop this J 
Help I ^urderj lolice! (Knocks on door R) EanquoJ c ome outi 
\Miss Livingston has another spasm!, (Beamish half dressed with 
Vie hoot On, the other in his hand and followed "by -^enry, re- 
enters from Re with exclamations. They tear Elorenc e/gnid -p-ilda 
apart 5 Y, ^ 

Muggs ^ y &J & /* 

Ladies, if you are ladies, remember that you are ladies! plorencf 
.calm yourself, T t is your "Muggsy"' spsaks 4 You know I have al- 
ways loved youj, 

Florence 
(On sofa) Get away from me , you galvanized mummy, I hate all 
of you* (Shrieks and goes into violent hysterics) Keep away, 
keep away J (Screams, "beats feet on flo.or, finally collapses, 
groaning Scheuster enters C c Everybody excited) 

Beamish 
Ob, this is terrible, terrible! r /hat is to be done? j never saw 
her as bad as this a Hi one for the doctor! 

Muggs 
j-hone for the whole board of health, Scheuster, get some water, 
(Scheuster exits L) 

p eami sh 
Brandy will be better^ 

, Muggs 
1*11 get your whiskey (Exits room R , renenters with demi- 
john just as Scheuster reappears with pitcher of water) 

Scheuster 
^jere is the wa.teri 

Muggs 
ThS' whiskey generally comes first, 

Scheuster 
'That is to do mit the water? 



6-1 

Muggs 
Throw it over her and if she coins s to, we'll all take a itrinko 

Scheuster 
Qhj rery well, (lifts pitcher,) 

Florenc e 
(Rising) You Dutch idiot; Don't you dare! 

Mugg s 
Florence, here's looking at you,, I knew you were shamming. If 
you could act as well on the stage , as you do off, you might 
get by„ (Drinks from demi-Jphn,. ) 

Florence 
BeamishJ hick all these people out of the theatre at once ? ■» 
everyone of them, if you want a performance to-night. 

Beamish 
Florence J . J. 

Florence 
I mean it , Keep that author off the stage - oug of my sight £ I 
won't have him around He gets on my nerves c 

Beamish 
But it's }/rr s Dal ton's play and -- 

Florence 
j don't care -- 

Henry , 

G-ive the lady her way, MJ « Beamish^ I have seen her rehearsals, 
I don't want to witness her performance, 

• Muggs 

' OoJ That's a good one Have a drink with me a (Offers frenry 
demi-john) 

Beamish 
But Muggs plays an important part and — ■ 

• Florence 

Cut him out altogether, jje only drives money away from your 
"theatre. 

Beamish 
{Aroused) See here, I am about sick of your nonsense and tantrums, 
yOu've "been raising merry blazes around here long enough and -- 

Florence 
Don't take that tone with me or I'll close your house a 

Beamish 
you do and I'll sue you* You know the amount of money I've in- 
vested in this thing,, jf you ruin me, I'll have satisfaction* 
I'll sue, you, madam, I'll sue you*, 

Florence 
Sue and be — 

Muggs 
(Shouts) Dontt say it - don' t be profane o Rsmanberj there are 
gentlemen present e 

■ Florence 
ou'll sue, will you ? I need just that sort of advertisings 
CJ-o ahead and Sue, I'll give you the chance Here, take your 
old part, take it - take it \ (Rams it into Beamish' s face) I 
won't play to-night I wont play for you again., I'm going home, 
(Exits door L) 

Beamish 
Well, (sinks on sofa) this i s the limit c I'm ruined, Muggs, 
tell the staged manager to dismiss rehearsal of last act and in- 
struct the people to report at. any office when they get dressed 
for the street. 



7-1 

Muggs 
Wait a minute, wait a minute J 

Beamish 
What's the use of waiting, the mischief is done? The play can't 
go on without a leading woman,, Talk s'ense. Have you ever heard 
of Hamletbeing done without fjamlet? 

Muggs 
When I was with Boh Sherman is llayers, I heard and saw strange 
things, but no matter. Why not put on someone in Kiss Living- 
ston's part? 

Beamish 
you're insane^ Who could get up in these lines, (Holding up 
part) in this time and give a performance? 

p-enry 
The girl who is already, up in them ,.- 

Beamish 
What girlS 

Scheuster 
He means mein Hilda - mein daughter,, 

B e amish 
That. girl J Livingston's dresser! 

S-Cheuster 
tier dresser no more, She is about to take her rightful place 
as artiste - und save your house from being closed - you from 
financial ruin und all she asks is a contract for Prau giving - 
stQii'S salary o 

Beamish 
You infernal Dutchman, have you become a lunatic too? 

Scheuster 
If you call h? r father aames, Herr Beamish., -pilda willboost her 
salary more, 

Beamish 
What? Trust this production to a rank novice? 

Scheuster 
TT ilda is of rank, high rank 5 bat she is not a novice, she has 
appeared lots mit me und I am the companion of "Link" of "Sonnene 
thai*" w e learn our art, not guess at it, like you Yankee Hams„ ■ 

Hilda 
Don't, father, don't I 

Scheuster 
Ah, but he gifs me dot tired feeling,, 

Muggs 
My friend Scheuster tells the truths 3?or one so young, -p-ilda 
has lots of stage experience s I know she hastalent e I - I am 
willing to take a chance on hei% 

Beamish 
you? I'd like to know v/here you come in? 

Muggs 
In this .production, I come in on the first act;by the wgcy, I 
don,t like that entrance, Kr Author „ t would suggest you to — 

Henry 
jirr. Beamish, give Miss Scheuster a rehearsal, y ou Gan loose 
nothing by it , 

Beamish 
You consent to that? 



8-E 

Henry 
jrore, i "beg, yes, I'll stand on my contract and demand it. 
T f she fails, I'll get the money to reimb urse your expenditure 
on the -vhole production and make you a present of the play in 
the bargain,, 

Beamish 
you're on] Here Hiss, is the part, c^me to the stage, we'll 
begin at once, 

Hilda 
(Refusing it) I do not need the part, sir, I know it, 

Henry 
She knows every line of the play, 

Beamish 
How is that? 

Henry 
She inspired "Her Heart's T5esire" ? sir 8 jt would Inever have "been 
written "but for Hilda* 

Beamish 
Well, come, cornel The timeis getting short§ (Beamish exits C( 

Scheuster , 

GrOtt "bless you, -n-ildal fortune "be mit you a j - I come by und 
by. I - I am too nervous yxetp "Muggsy" you - you take rrilda, 
(i-asses her to Muggs, but irenry anticipates him, leads Hilda off 
C) 

Mugg s 
Ahem! "Take gilda*" TT-' lda is already "took," (Exits C) 
(Scheuster falls on knees in attitude of prayer) 

Florence 
(Enters from L door, dressed as for street) (Looks at Scheuster, 
inquiringly) What are you doing there? Where are the others? 
(Sharply) Do you hear me, Scheuster? 

Scheuster 
(Rises) You disturb me, Frau Livingston I am a prayer uttering, 

Florence 
A prayer, eb;? - Well, cut out your superstition Band answer me when 
I speak to you. Where are the others? 

Scheuster 
G-one back to the rehearsal- 

Florence 
Rehearsal? why, how can- they rehearse without me? 

Scheuster 
They will rehearse better without you than with you, 

Florence 
What impertinence is this? 

Scheuster 
No impertinence, but the truth They are honored They are 
blessed, because the Fimiatnanfe Dramatic is to be enriched 
to-night, by a star, und thuy will be present at her birth, 

Florence 
What do you mean? 

Scheuster 
Her Heart' s Desire, goes on to-night in spite of you, Frau 
Livingston, 

Florence 
Impossible Why who can take my place? 



9~E 

Scheuster 
The woman for whom the part was written - my Tiildai My Little 
Star. 

Florence 
; !hat, I'll soon end this, I'll "break up this rehearsal, I'll — 

Scheuster 
you will do nothing of the kind. you will not go on that stage. 
You will not leave this room ^jot if I have to take your throat 
"between my fingers and chok3 the life out of you„ (The last 
\irith fierceness) so you will keep quiet Silence -J Silence] 
(Backs Florence down stage,) T -ilda is speakingj -gush! HushJ" 

Hilda 
(Outside as if speaking lines of part) "How different everything 
is now, from everything "before* Ifusie means what it never did* 
Xife has leaped into "blossom for me. Everywhere there is color and 
radiance that I have never seen.. Ah, __ dear, the sunshine that 
falls upon your head spreads over the world. " 

Scheuster y ' 
{To Florence) Do you hear? Dot iss my child - my Hilda - my 
little star J Opportunity is knocking at her door, we will escape 
from our dungeon-of poverty with a golden key und when she gets 
ready, Hil da will marry the man of her heart und they will live 
happy ever after, mit Scheuster, the oldt Dutch Father - looking 
over and protectingthem from danger, just as I am doing now/ 
So don't speaki Don't even "breathe!, (Standing menacingly over 
Florence who is on sofa) (Andante music) 



CURTAIN Q Q 



ii ii ii ii 






1-E 

Act Thirds 
Same set. The same night, 

At Rise: — Loud applause heard off stage. Work wooden clapper 
effect. Enter Hilda C „ in fancy costume with cloak. She hurries, 
running to dressing room L. , exits. Enter following closely, 
Muggs and Scheuster) 

Muggs 
Don~t worry, Scheuster, old man i T t ' s going great J Six curtains 
after that act and the__great scenes to come, It's a knock-out, 
a knockout, old man. TT ilda is a sure fire su ccess, Now, if 
Beamish don»t let the third act down as he is most sure to do, 
it will be a veritable triumph. 

Voice Outside 
Scheuster] Scheuster] Where are you? 

Scheut er 
"Here J Mr, Clancy] Here! 

To i c e 
Get a gait on you and come and clear away this junk, 

Scheuster 
Yah] Yah! I'm coming! I'm coming! (Nervously limps off) 

Henry 
(Enters, about to go to fril.a ,s room, Muggs intercepts him) 

Muggs 
Great, my hoy, great! , (Grabs his hands, shakes the.: effusively)' 
Your play is excellent o Jim lac Closkey never wrote a better one* 
How did you like my performance? I trust I carried out your 
ideas in my portrayal, 

Henry 
The truth io, Mr , Muggs., I didrn t see your scene* The newspaper 
men were in^r viewing me at the time and -- 

Muggs ,, ^W, 

Oh, those "scarling scribes 3 , eg? The irreverent roasting rep- 
tiles. Did they say anyxlxx^g: Hfennfr the play. 

The complimented me nilSuggsbut were enthusiastic enough about 
Hilda-. God bless her tt She , s a success with all, public alsd^ 
press ih s newspapers are more inquisitive about Hiss Livingston' 
defection than anything else 

Muggs 
(Mysteriously^ p-usb., she is here, (toints R) 

Henry 

Here? 

Muggs 
The stage door-tender disobeyed orders and let her in, She is 
busy hatching some deviltry now to queer the show, but I have 
ny eye on her. Trust me] 

Henry 
Surely] 

Muggs 
You may; we have been enemies, you and I -- 

Henry 
I wasn't aware of it , 

Muggs 
h yes, for a long time j regarded you as a "viper." I called 
you a "viper" ; - ahem! behind your back repeatedly, but I have 
forgiven you that and we are friends, 7 don't cherish animosity. 

Henry 
I'm glad to hear it, j/rr, Muggs, 



2-E 

Kuggs 
I am glad to have this opportunity of talking to you alone* You 
have made a great mistake in allowing ^eamish to cast himsjlf as 
Major Blackadder jf your play should turn out a "flivfer," 

nenry 
A flivver"-* r hat the devil is a "flivver?" 

Muggs 
Achilling frost, a failure. 

Henrj 
Ohi 

Muggs 
It will "be due to Beanishest 31ackadder« I should have been the 
Blackadder* The part was just "built for me, 

•genry 
You think you could have played it? 

Muggs 
(litingly) Hayed it? Damn me, sirj^ I am "Blackadder."' Nut 
hut what Beamish and I are frrends , h yes, ye start 3d in the 
"business, three of us together* loor'Vort CJrandby was the 
other He was the worst actor of us all, worse than Beamish. 
Well, Beamish went up anc Grandby went down, 

Henry 
And you? 

Muggs 
I? Ahemi I accompanied Crandby^ v ou see, could not crook the 
pregnant hinges of iay knee or with a honied tongue uriblu shingly 
flatter those above ne^ Eeamish, however — 

- Henry 
I "beg your pardon, Mr, T-uggs, hut I haven it seen ,r r, -peamish 



all evening. Have you? ^y 

Henry ^ Q/q 

I don't understand, ^V- ^ 7* 

Muggs ' &y* /«, 

He has been drinking "healths five fathoms deep,," His t5^aj.d^s 
to-day started him, j had been administering promatic spirits of 
Ammonia to sober him up so he can g vt through Blackadder, 

Henry 
G-et through I 

MUggS 

Yes, don,t worry a He'll play it badly of course, h^ couldn't be 
any worse drunk than he .~ould be sober 

Henry 
(Distractedly) oh, this is madness, madness? "hat»s zo be don?? 

MUggs 
That scorpion, that Livingston wjinan is with him now„ g". e is pos- 
sibly undoing the good effects of uy prescription,, r 'e had better 
knock on his door and find out how he iso Blackadder appears 
at the beginning of the. act, now, don't get excited. Be calm, 
like me* 

Hairy 
Oh Hell* (Shakes f fr uggs off, goes to door R'» exits) 

Muggs 
Curses! Cursesl Curses! (Exits after trenry door E) (Closos 
door-) (Scheuster enters C, goes to door L» 3 knocks on it) 

Scheuster 
Hilda] Hilda,' Are you almost ready? 1 t is your oldt fadd^r 
that is speaking, come oudtj come out, my little star, unu gif 



3-E 

me a kiss* (Hilda opens door* Scheuster embraces her,' leads her 
down stage) Clancy ha^s oxcoosed me for a little whilhe „ ^e is 
good s TT e is kind s -q-e knows j want tj see my Hil (ia " m J little 
Star* 

Hilda 
And did j get through all right, my father? 

Scheuster 
(Indignantly) Get through? Through? why you - you made them 
stand up and take notice* 

Hilda . • 

And I look the part? 

, Scheuster 
You look like an angel o You look like an angel, Und how do I 
look mit my oyeralls? Not much like the father of an angel, eh? 

Hi Ida 
JSa. t father, if I am successful,- perhaps Henry will write a play 
for you and you wonit have to wear overalls. 

Scheuster 
Und then we will have so much money we won*t know how to spend it 
all 4 No, my child y ou n9e d not worry,. You keep on, as you 
have "begun und in nineteen or twenty years you will he a very goot 
actress - fit to appear "before a Berlin audience - er - one 
moment - you have not enough rouge en your left cheek. Attend to 
it heforeyou go on - und there is too much white m your chin - 
attend to that ys it not a "big house? f look at him through the 
peephole of the curtain und the stage manager fine me one dollar, 
hut it is worth it to know they are all there^to swell the tri- 
umph of my little Star 8 . Ah, my child, you are "trembling, You 
must not tremble 3 6j, £?/ 

Hilda %£ Q *> 

But Father, I felt so frightened* 

Scheuster - ^fy**& 

You had no reason to "be frightened, Your oldt f adder, he was not 
frightened^ 3-oufJ What did I care? I was cold - cold - like the 
iceman. 

Hilda 
But remember, father, it is not all ever yet yhe great scene is 
to c one and I might f ail„ 

Scheuster 
Faill Fail! (Strikes attitude) jn the "bright dictionary of 
youth writter by Daniel w ah star, George Cchan und Bill Shakes- 
peare, it says "~:-2\xk screw your courage to the sticking plaster } 
und there is no such word as fail," Go ■ ix your face and your 
f adder will lead you to your further, triumph 6 (Hilda exits L) 
(Henry re-enters followed "by Beamish, Beamish is very dr nk and 
is "being assisted by ITUggs who is. trying to quiet him Florence 
enters last. She is highly amused) 

Beamish 
ETazza mazzer wiz you? jou author feller? Are you trying to run 
my "business? Thish ish not your theatre, but my theatre. Let 
the play go on,- L et it go on] (Fallsin chair, goes half to 
sleap) 

Muggs 
^ake up J ' 7 ake upi (Slaps Eeamish on "back and shakes him) Brace 
up, Banquo, or your name will be "puncc, " (Florence laughs) 
.Don't you laugh, you "shearing snea-devil" ^ I mean "Sneering she 
devil." This is your work! (To peamish) Beamish! Old man, 
it's Muggs talking to you 5 Come to yourself, won't you, old fel9 
low? Think of me, won't you? Think of little -[Tilda, you damned 



4-E 

old idiot,, wake up! 

Seheuster 
Mein CJottl He in ijottf 

Henry 
Courage, friend Sen east er, all isn't lost yets 

Seheuster 
But what can you do? Der performance must end right here and — 

Henry 
I shall go "before the curtain and tell the audience th? truth, 
that Beamish is drunk „ 

Florence 
Do you hear, Ban quo? H^ says you're drun':. 

Beamish" 
^(hois drunk? (Rousing himself) >7ho,s drunk? 

Florence 
HSiS gaifcg "befre the curtain* 

B eami sh . 
Who is? Who is? IttS my curtain He shan't gO' "before the cur- 
tain trial (Hie coughs) Give mS another drink a (Mumbles to • 
himself) 

Florence 
So the Her Heart's Desire and the little star end in the fiasco, 

Muggs 
And all your fault, Beamish 1 s condition is all your work* 

Florence 
I own it, I confess it and glory in the' dead, 

Sch ?uster 
Ah, you confess the crime? 

Murderess* V^ry well, you shall he 
punished, An eye for an eye, a tooth for a t.-.Ogtli und as this 
"blow will kill me, und kill my irilda's happinesSl^K %.r it I 
will haf your life 6 You "badt - you worst of woneru^ /s *# y 

Florence $fy ^$ 

Hold that madman Zs p-e has- already threatened to kill me„ *■ 

Henry 
(Grapples with Seheuster,, -p-ilda ent srs) Herr Seheuster, calm 
yourself, all is not yet lost. Here, take this and take care of 
it a . I was going to put it in yours and fjilda' s hands to-night 
when the performance was ended, Eut as it seems over now ; 
take it* (luts envelope in Scheuster ! s hands) 

Seheuster 
(Faintly) What is it? y° u **ead it, -p-ilda (She has come to 
him) 

Hilda 
Why it is a cheque for twenty thousand dollars ad signed Rohert 
Dalton . , . - 

Henry 
jt is restitution from my father to yours, TT ilda s Dad and I 
"buried the hatchet to-day and he is out in front to-night assis- 
ting in my play's success and applauding Hilda 's every move B 
The play even if interrupted to-night will go on to-morrow, even 
if we have to "buy a theatrs outright B 

Muggs 
jt will not "be interrupted to-night o (Commences to pull off 
Beamish 1, "boots) 

Omnes 
What are you doing? 



5-E 

Muggs 
leaking up for E lack adder* 

Omnes 
What? 

Muggs 
The part was just "built for me, (lull son boots. Tears off 
Beamish 1 s chapeau, puts it on) 

Mugg s 
Scheuster, help me off with his coat v (Thsy pull off Beamish' a 
uniform coat e -n-e falls- down) Roll him in his room and give me 
his part» I'll wing it (He puts on coat, wraps cloak around 
him* Henry hands him part after putting Beamish off R) 

Scheuster 
But your own part? -rovt are you going to double it? 

Muggs 
Double it? I shall wear a "beard and my overcoat and who in 
blazes is to know me? 

Voice Outside 
Third Act, 

Muggs 
Rmng up! Come, ff ilda| Come* (Goes up C) 

Scheuster 
(To Hulda) Go, my little Star I Oq 

Henry $ &y 

Letts call her Our Little Star, ^ ty 

Scheuster M* 'Vx 

Yahl y 3 * 1 ? m y son j 0ur l^^ 13 Star. (frilda is C. ' gc^Csuster L«C, 
fjenry R,C, Florence down R) ^ A &/* 



'6> 



C TJ R T A I N 

It It II II II II II 



Note:-- Beamish is in cjstume ( semi-military 4 - soots, uniform 
coat, a chapeau with plumes and a black cloak, TfUggs can extract 
much comedy while stripping peamish and putting on these things s 



000OOOOOOO000- 



OCT 2 1913 



LIBRARY OF CONfiPFcc 

■■■iiiilU 

015 908 954 A 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




Hollinger Corp. 
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